If I don't blog about this... I might very well explode!
I feel extremely hurt and frustrated by the things parents are allowed to say. I'm also confused as to why parents believe every word that children tell them without thinking about the situations logically.
I had a parent walk into my class unannounced (without checking into the office) five minutes before school started about three weeks ago. Arms folded... face stern... inches away from me... accusing me of handling a situation with her child inappropriately... while a few students were in my room... but she refused to leave even after the bell had rung.
This parent (who has a record for stirring up trouble with teachers AND who yelled at me in front of students and my principal AND whose child helped set fire to the bathroom in first grade but got away with it because "mom came to the rescue" AND whose dad is a lawyer) irrationally claimed that I called her son a liar after he walked out of a band class with one of my students and proudly announced that they "quit" band. Don't even get me started on the new band teacher and the numerous decisions he has made that have made my life more complicated...
I tried to explain "my side" of the story while she scowled... and then she verbally threw up her frustrations about our new band program and several things that I had no control over. I tried to get her to leave to talk to the principal, esp. once the bell rang... but she continued to berate me - claiming I do not talk to kids appropriately (she has never even SEEN me talk to kids... nor have her kids ever been in my class). After she scolded me and finally brought me to tears, she left... leaving me with 33 students who were outside eagerly awaiting their teacher.
Of course, I was able to dust it off and put on a smile and proceed with the day, right?! WRONG! Who can possibly do their job after being verbally attacked...
Anyway... as you can imagine, I had a pretty crappy day that day (on top of the other stress that I had been dealing with personally and professionally)... and tried not to take it out on my kids... and I also tried not to talk about it with my kids... but they saw her walk out of my classroom and knew exactly who she was. They also saw me leave and go to the bathroom to try to compose myself and cool down. Over the next few weeks, I tried to redirect the conversation anytime it was brought up, but the kids knew (and some even saw/heard) the hurtful way she treated me that morning. It took a while to let it go, but I finally managed to "bury the hatchet."
Last Friday, we had a class meeting and I promised my partner that I would lead fifth grade (almost 70 kids!) through their first class meeting for our new bullying program. While we were going through the rules and talking, I brought up many examples of bullying with students and issues that kids face today. During our group conversation, I told them that SOMETIMES adults bully other adults... even parents sometimes bully teachers... and (at another point) SOMETIMES kids go home and tell their parents half of a story ("lie by omission") and the parents get mad at the teachers because their child accused the teacher of doing something wrong. I did not dwell on either topic nor did I mention any names... but apparently I struck a cord with the [guilty] student... and some "friends" of the student who are also in fifth grade told mom after school that I was talking about her in front of everyone and that I looked at the student while I was talking about the incident... so it was OBVIOUS that I was referring to her.
So... she unabashedly stated to my principal today during a "requested meeting" that she thinks I'm bullying her child. And that she thinks I use tears to manipulate students intentionally (because she thinks I cry in front of my students all the time)... that I slandered her and talked about her in front of students and colleagues... and that I am unprofessional... and need to learn how to deal with problems and parents in a professional way. And... she said she was going try to be the "better person" and overlook my "quirks" and forget the whole situation ever happened... but that I JUST HAD to bring it up again... and all of this is MY FAULT. At one point, she suggested that I should be fired and students should at least be interviewed to see if I was bullying other students...
She said all of this to me today in a "mediated" meeting with my principal... that I was given NO WARNING about... AGAIN! She was able to twist the whole situation and get away with it... AGAIN! And as a "professional" teacher, I had to sit there and take it...
At the end of the meeting... we "agreed" that she was not allowed in my classroom... and that if she had a problem or concern... that she would go straight to the principal. She also added on the way out that she would not even say "hi" to me on the playground... so very professional.
Now I am at home after five hours of scheduled and surprise meetings... and five hours of teaching (minimum day)... I am trying to let things go and get myself geared up to work some more. I need to finish 33 progress reports and send them home tomorrow.
Oh, the joys of teaching! Is it summer yet?
I had a parent walk into my class unannounced (without checking into the office) five minutes before school started about three weeks ago. Arms folded... face stern... inches away from me... accusing me of handling a situation with her child inappropriately... while a few students were in my room... but she refused to leave even after the bell had rung.
This parent (who has a record for stirring up trouble with teachers AND who yelled at me in front of students and my principal AND whose child helped set fire to the bathroom in first grade but got away with it because "mom came to the rescue" AND whose dad is a lawyer) irrationally claimed that I called her son a liar after he walked out of a band class with one of my students and proudly announced that they "quit" band. Don't even get me started on the new band teacher and the numerous decisions he has made that have made my life more complicated...
I tried to explain "my side" of the story while she scowled... and then she verbally threw up her frustrations about our new band program and several things that I had no control over. I tried to get her to leave to talk to the principal, esp. once the bell rang... but she continued to berate me - claiming I do not talk to kids appropriately (she has never even SEEN me talk to kids... nor have her kids ever been in my class). After she scolded me and finally brought me to tears, she left... leaving me with 33 students who were outside eagerly awaiting their teacher.
Of course, I was able to dust it off and put on a smile and proceed with the day, right?! WRONG! Who can possibly do their job after being verbally attacked...
Anyway... as you can imagine, I had a pretty crappy day that day (on top of the other stress that I had been dealing with personally and professionally)... and tried not to take it out on my kids... and I also tried not to talk about it with my kids... but they saw her walk out of my classroom and knew exactly who she was. They also saw me leave and go to the bathroom to try to compose myself and cool down. Over the next few weeks, I tried to redirect the conversation anytime it was brought up, but the kids knew (and some even saw/heard) the hurtful way she treated me that morning. It took a while to let it go, but I finally managed to "bury the hatchet."
Last Friday, we had a class meeting and I promised my partner that I would lead fifth grade (almost 70 kids!) through their first class meeting for our new bullying program. While we were going through the rules and talking, I brought up many examples of bullying with students and issues that kids face today. During our group conversation, I told them that SOMETIMES adults bully other adults... even parents sometimes bully teachers... and (at another point) SOMETIMES kids go home and tell their parents half of a story ("lie by omission") and the parents get mad at the teachers because their child accused the teacher of doing something wrong. I did not dwell on either topic nor did I mention any names... but apparently I struck a cord with the [guilty] student... and some "friends" of the student who are also in fifth grade told mom after school that I was talking about her in front of everyone and that I looked at the student while I was talking about the incident... so it was OBVIOUS that I was referring to her.
So... she unabashedly stated to my principal today during a "requested meeting" that she thinks I'm bullying her child. And that she thinks I use tears to manipulate students intentionally (because she thinks I cry in front of my students all the time)... that I slandered her and talked about her in front of students and colleagues... and that I am unprofessional... and need to learn how to deal with problems and parents in a professional way. And... she said she was going try to be the "better person" and overlook my "quirks" and forget the whole situation ever happened... but that I JUST HAD to bring it up again... and all of this is MY FAULT. At one point, she suggested that I should be fired and students should at least be interviewed to see if I was bullying other students...
She said all of this to me today in a "mediated" meeting with my principal... that I was given NO WARNING about... AGAIN! She was able to twist the whole situation and get away with it... AGAIN! And as a "professional" teacher, I had to sit there and take it...
At the end of the meeting... we "agreed" that she was not allowed in my classroom... and that if she had a problem or concern... that she would go straight to the principal. She also added on the way out that she would not even say "hi" to me on the playground... so very professional.
Now I am at home after five hours of scheduled and surprise meetings... and five hours of teaching (minimum day)... I am trying to let things go and get myself geared up to work some more. I need to finish 33 progress reports and send them home tomorrow.
Oh, the joys of teaching! Is it summer yet?
posted by xoxoandaloha @ 6:46 PM
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