Follow-up email...
Principal-
The other day you asked me if there was anything you could do to better support me. At first, I wasn't sure how to respond because I couldn't pinpoint or identify all of the extra stressors that were associated with my job/situation. We talked about some of the issues and concerns that I had, many that had been growing or festering for a while. And, of course, when put I'm put on the spot and pushed to a threshhold... I get emotional and sometimes cry. I appreciate the kind words and encouragement that you shared that day. Also, the compassion and time that it took to ask me if there was a way for you to help make my life/job a little easier.
You asked me what I thought of the PLC with 4th/5th grade on Wednesday. I think the PLC conversation with fourth and fifth grade aired out some of the concerns that we collectively shared. Although it won't magically improve our productivity right away, I think it will get us back on the right track. By handling the discussion in a calm and collective way, we were able to establish much needed norms that will increase and improve rapport and teamwork within our grade levels (fingers crossed).
Today, I was also able to talk with the band teacher to explain some of my concerns about the number of fifth graders who were allowed to "quit" band/enrichment class. I asked him for an updated list (and periodic behavior updates) of current students in his band class. I talked to him specifically about Z., A., S. (who is currently an aide in my class during intervention), and M1. - who came up to me at recess to say she wanted to "quit" because she didn't have time to practice. I sent M1. to the office today to discuss this matter with you because a similar situation recently got me into a lot of trouble. I briefly reminded him that R. and M2. were the first to quit, but did not bring up any conflict or specific parent names due to the "agreement" that we made at the last meeting with ___________.
This brings me to the most important part of this email. I was deeply disappointed by the way the meeting with __________ was handled. She claimed that she asked for this meeting on Monday, but I wasn't given any notice (esp. after a FULL day of meetings - leadership and PLC) or prior warning as to what her new accusations were going to be. This is the second time that I felt verbally attacked and violated by the same parent. I felt that my control was taken away and I was put on the spot... left to defend myself in front of an irrational parent who had six days to plan what she was going to say. She was allowed to be extremely inappropriate and took things to a degrading and personal level - questioning my integrity as a professional and suggesting that I bully and manipulate students. I do not care to rehash what she said, but I do think it is a problem that she was allowed to get away with saying the things she said to me with a "mediator" present. I know you tried to step in a few times, but I do not feel you stood up or supported me during our meeting. When she stated that I can't handle my own issues and that it is ridiculous that I need you to be my "buffer" to solve problems, I would have liked you to step in and make it clear that this should be protocol for ANY of the staff members at F. I am worried that she will CONTINUE to do this to other staff members if/when she gets the chance. She learned that she can get away with accusing (without specific details and evidence using only blanket statements and personal projections) teachers and berrating them with or without a principal present. After she left, you tried to console me and said some nice things about what I do in the classroom and how I positively impact kids. I think it would've made more of an impact if you had said those things with the parent in the room so that she knows that I AM indeed a valued staff member who should not be treated in such a manner.
I do not mind listening to parent concerns (and I know sometimes I take them very personally - at least at first). I know this comes with the territory. But I refuse to be treated this way and do not want my colleagues to experience the same disrespect. I would like to know how we are going to change protocol for parent "meetings" or other situations that arise with irrational parents. This is a safety concern and it should be addressed like any other hazard, safety issue, or lockdown drill. I would also like parents to be reminded (and reprimanded) if they do not check into the office before they walk on campus. I also need more than a minute's notice to collect my thoughts and gather my composure before meeting with anyone.
Right now, resolving these concerns is way more important than getting that online gradebook set up. You asked me to be honest, and I think I have adequately expressed my concerns and suggestions for continued support at the current time. My goal is NOT to change _________'s mind. It is to establish a consistent and reliable schoolwide acountability system that will help prevent these kinds of conflict from reoccuring or happening at our "bully-free" school and community.
Thanks for your time. Please let me know if you have any further questions or concerns.
-Teacher
The other day you asked me if there was anything you could do to better support me. At first, I wasn't sure how to respond because I couldn't pinpoint or identify all of the extra stressors that were associated with my job/situation. We talked about some of the issues and concerns that I had, many that had been growing or festering for a while. And, of course, when put I'm put on the spot and pushed to a threshhold... I get emotional and sometimes cry. I appreciate the kind words and encouragement that you shared that day. Also, the compassion and time that it took to ask me if there was a way for you to help make my life/job a little easier.
You asked me what I thought of the PLC with 4th/5th grade on Wednesday. I think the PLC conversation with fourth and fifth grade aired out some of the concerns that we collectively shared. Although it won't magically improve our productivity right away, I think it will get us back on the right track. By handling the discussion in a calm and collective way, we were able to establish much needed norms that will increase and improve rapport and teamwork within our grade levels (fingers crossed).
Today, I was also able to talk with the band teacher to explain some of my concerns about the number of fifth graders who were allowed to "quit" band/enrichment class. I asked him for an updated list (and periodic behavior updates) of current students in his band class. I talked to him specifically about Z., A., S. (who is currently an aide in my class during intervention), and M1. - who came up to me at recess to say she wanted to "quit" because she didn't have time to practice. I sent M1. to the office today to discuss this matter with you because a similar situation recently got me into a lot of trouble. I briefly reminded him that R. and M2. were the first to quit, but did not bring up any conflict or specific parent names due to the "agreement" that we made at the last meeting with ___________.
This brings me to the most important part of this email. I was deeply disappointed by the way the meeting with __________ was handled. She claimed that she asked for this meeting on Monday, but I wasn't given any notice (esp. after a FULL day of meetings - leadership and PLC) or prior warning as to what her new accusations were going to be. This is the second time that I felt verbally attacked and violated by the same parent. I felt that my control was taken away and I was put on the spot... left to defend myself in front of an irrational parent who had six days to plan what she was going to say. She was allowed to be extremely inappropriate and took things to a degrading and personal level - questioning my integrity as a professional and suggesting that I bully and manipulate students. I do not care to rehash what she said, but I do think it is a problem that she was allowed to get away with saying the things she said to me with a "mediator" present. I know you tried to step in a few times, but I do not feel you stood up or supported me during our meeting. When she stated that I can't handle my own issues and that it is ridiculous that I need you to be my "buffer" to solve problems, I would have liked you to step in and make it clear that this should be protocol for ANY of the staff members at F. I am worried that she will CONTINUE to do this to other staff members if/when she gets the chance. She learned that she can get away with accusing (without specific details and evidence using only blanket statements and personal projections) teachers and berrating them with or without a principal present. After she left, you tried to console me and said some nice things about what I do in the classroom and how I positively impact kids. I think it would've made more of an impact if you had said those things with the parent in the room so that she knows that I AM indeed a valued staff member who should not be treated in such a manner.
I do not mind listening to parent concerns (and I know sometimes I take them very personally - at least at first). I know this comes with the territory. But I refuse to be treated this way and do not want my colleagues to experience the same disrespect. I would like to know how we are going to change protocol for parent "meetings" or other situations that arise with irrational parents. This is a safety concern and it should be addressed like any other hazard, safety issue, or lockdown drill. I would also like parents to be reminded (and reprimanded) if they do not check into the office before they walk on campus. I also need more than a minute's notice to collect my thoughts and gather my composure before meeting with anyone.
Right now, resolving these concerns is way more important than getting that online gradebook set up. You asked me to be honest, and I think I have adequately expressed my concerns and suggestions for continued support at the current time. My goal is NOT to change _________'s mind. It is to establish a consistent and reliable schoolwide acountability system that will help prevent these kinds of conflict from reoccuring or happening at our "bully-free" school and community.
Thanks for your time. Please let me know if you have any further questions or concerns.
-Teacher
posted by xoxoandaloha @ 1:03 AM
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