Back seat drivers...
Just a warning for all of you who like to feel that you are in control of your life... God doesn't like back seat drivers. I have learned this lesson the hard way. Everytime my knuckles are white from trying to grasp the steering wheel or when the imaginary brake has proven itself again unreliable, I find myself throwing my hands up in the air and praying that I survive the next stop sign, intersection, or crash of my life. Little do I realize that when my life seems to be speeding out of control, flying under the radar, or even when it's stuck behind a Sunday driver... I am not in control. And when I arrive at each destination, sometimes there is pain... sometimes there is exhaustion... and sometimes there is frustration. I usually don't end up where I expected to. But most of the time... well, all of the time, I am just thankful to be alive, blessed to have friends and family to support me along the journey, and glad to be in one piece. Just thankful for the experience. What doesn't kill you just makes you stronger, right?
A lot has happened in the past few months. I started my second year of teaching as a fifth grade teacher. There is a lot of pressure at school because we didn't meet our AYP (Adequate Yearly Progress) goals. We are PI 4 (Program Improvement - year 4) and we have to jump through a lot of hoops. I feel like I'm doing more paperwork and planning than actually teaching kids. It's sad, really. Education is just not in a very good place right now. The only thing that gets me up in the morning are the kids that I work with, the parents who trust me to take care of their children, and my goal to enrich and inspire the minds and souls of my students... to help them grow up to become smart, responsible, and decent human beings.
Over the course of the past few months, I've had to take some pretty big risks. It's crazy when you spend 11 hours at work and then go home to find your living room carpet soaked through with the water coming from your neighbor's bathroom. And then... try to convince your ex-Navy landlord (who won't answer your calls, but when he does, he just tries to call you "Hun" and make you feel completely insecure) that his apartment needs repairs. Not good times. To him, mold and mildew is nothing to overreact about. For me, it was a good excuse to find another apartment after getting the silent treatment and very little support from my roommates. And THEN tell your principal that he doesn't know how to communicate... that his teachers are miserable... just for him to give you a digital projector, tell you that you are a great teacher, and thank you for being honest. It's been an interesting adventure... but I am still alive... and not afraid to speak my mind or stand up for myself. In the end, I am still teaching fifth grade with the blessings of the boss I yelled at, I'm getting reimbursed for the deposit and prepaid rent from my jerk of an ex-landlord, some debt was finally repaid by a friend who needed some money, I got a chance to purge and get rid of a few things that I didn't need, I am all moved into a new apartment with great new roommates, and I still have friends and family to lean on even though I feel like I've neglected them over the past month or so. I am truly blessed and I can't thank God enough for continually forgiving me for trying to be his backseat driver. I am trying to learn how to just sit back, trust in Him, and enjoy the ride.
A lot has happened in the past few months. I started my second year of teaching as a fifth grade teacher. There is a lot of pressure at school because we didn't meet our AYP (Adequate Yearly Progress) goals. We are PI 4 (Program Improvement - year 4) and we have to jump through a lot of hoops. I feel like I'm doing more paperwork and planning than actually teaching kids. It's sad, really. Education is just not in a very good place right now. The only thing that gets me up in the morning are the kids that I work with, the parents who trust me to take care of their children, and my goal to enrich and inspire the minds and souls of my students... to help them grow up to become smart, responsible, and decent human beings.
Over the course of the past few months, I've had to take some pretty big risks. It's crazy when you spend 11 hours at work and then go home to find your living room carpet soaked through with the water coming from your neighbor's bathroom. And then... try to convince your ex-Navy landlord (who won't answer your calls, but when he does, he just tries to call you "Hun" and make you feel completely insecure) that his apartment needs repairs. Not good times. To him, mold and mildew is nothing to overreact about. For me, it was a good excuse to find another apartment after getting the silent treatment and very little support from my roommates. And THEN tell your principal that he doesn't know how to communicate... that his teachers are miserable... just for him to give you a digital projector, tell you that you are a great teacher, and thank you for being honest. It's been an interesting adventure... but I am still alive... and not afraid to speak my mind or stand up for myself. In the end, I am still teaching fifth grade with the blessings of the boss I yelled at, I'm getting reimbursed for the deposit and prepaid rent from my jerk of an ex-landlord, some debt was finally repaid by a friend who needed some money, I got a chance to purge and get rid of a few things that I didn't need, I am all moved into a new apartment with great new roommates, and I still have friends and family to lean on even though I feel like I've neglected them over the past month or so. I am truly blessed and I can't thank God enough for continually forgiving me for trying to be his backseat driver. I am trying to learn how to just sit back, trust in Him, and enjoy the ride.
posted by xoxoandaloha @ 12:21 AM
1 comments
